Thoughts..

So… I have been pondering all the possibilities and possible consequences while waiting for my lawyer to act upon my case, and waiting for.. “something”. At least I need to wait to find out what will happen. While waiting, the opportunity for me to apply to Canada opens. After exhausting myself thinking,pondering, considering,.. blah blah blah… finally I decide to go ahead and risk $2000 to apply to Canada. Of course I know it will cost WAY more than $2000; but it is a possibility. Why not. Woke up at 3am, don’t know what to do. I’m so sick and tired of having night shift hours. It totally mess up my body cycle and I’m so tired. so I made my avocado-mango salsa. YUMMMM!!! Can’t wait to eat it later. Then I sat down on my desk (finally), wanting to send my first contract money to the canada lawyer. Then, the website wouldn’t open. What the crap. Ok, fine. I’ll wait. So I sent an email, hopefully they will call me today to figure out W.H.A.T’s going on~~~

Looking back to my past nursing career, it has been good. Of course I made some mistakes. So far, i’ve been in a code twice, first time ever requested by my patient’s family (notice, family) not to have me back again, and orienting a new nurse. WOW. Also, did CPR for the first time (but not on my patient, and it was in January… I think, my first code on other patient as a nurse). It sucks. I was SO sore for 2 weeks. LOL

This past week has been particularly heavy for me. So much stuff happened. First of all, orienting a person, coded MY patient this past saturday morning right when I get ready to leave (I think I was more nervous than my orientee, LOL), and requested by my patient’s family not to have me back again on Monday morning (When the family member was being a bitch to me, and I have said nothing but focus on my patient’s need). I also found out that old nurses sometimes are so stubborn and confronting me because I’m new. The nurse had her laptop at the nurse’s desk station online, and I said we shouldn’t have laptop at the desk, and don’t let the supervisor saw it (that time, I had my phone out on the desk from my pocket because I was sitting down and it was heavy on my pant!). Then she said, well, then people have their phone out and use it at the desk station. You know that it’s the policy here not to have the phone out at the desk right? If she comes and see it, I can ask her what’s the difference with people having phone out using internet and me using the laptop here? U know it’s the policy right?” WOW. I looked at her and said, ” I know it’s a policy! but do you see I’m using it?!” OMG! I completely ignore her. So if other ppl choose to eat the shit you would break the rule and eat the shit too? At least phone can be hidden. laptop?! at the desk? STUPID IDIOT! 

AH. I’m so worn out working with stubborn ppl! even so, she’s a travel nurse!! I really feel like I want to report her and say something. But why should I keep complaining and not hold each other responsible for actions? Plus I couldn’t say more to her because I had my phone out (even though I didn’t use it). Next time, I would not do the same thing then I have the full rights to step up to her! Stupidity and stubborn made ppl look so bad! 

But honestly, I’m worn out. And I want to get out of this place. I need a vacation. I have not been to anywhere since July 2012. I have been working so much since July. My schedule every week has been so different! There is no regularity since July 2012. By rights, I should be able to take a vacation without taking my vacation period now because I’m not even suppose to work. So why should I ask for a vacation?

Sigh… so complicated!! When can I start enjoying my life?